My parents taught me one simple thing. Others before self. If you know me well, you would also know that I would chop my arm off if you only asked for it. My parents brought me up with values that are simple yet powerful, values that let you go to bed with a smile on your face and those that never let you down. I was brought up with compassion and that is all I knew. Throughout my life, I have been around people who have helped me become what I am today. I have seen my father help people in need, no matter what time of the day it was and no matter how tired he was. This is the only way I know.
With great regret, I must mention that very recently for the first time in my life, I felt let down by compassion. I did not expect something to hit me that hard. I felt compassion being sucked out of me. It made me think about people in ways that I never thought before. It made me analyze the way people have treated me in the past. I'm sure you would agree that we never like being taken for granted. I started identifying people who had clearly taken advantage of me. My attitude towards life was about to change.
Over the years, I had turned into a people-pleaser. I could make everyone happy at the same time. Some people really didn't deserve it, but I never saw it. I decided that from now on, I would always choose who I help and I would learn to say no to people who didn't deserve it. It is unbelievably hard to do so for someone who never questioned anyone when they asked for a favor. I never expected anything back in return either. I guess this is where I had to draw the line and stop being a nice guy all the time.
By saying that, I don't mean to say that I'm gonna turn into a bad person... I am not capable of hatred. I am just going to turn neutral and not react to a situation that I don't want to be involved in. Compassion will be followed for people who truly deserve it.
I'm not quite enjoying this at the moment, but I know it's working and it is the only thing that would keep me going. If I realise that this is a wrong move, I will without doubt go back to unconditional compassion immediately
With great regret, I must mention that very recently for the first time in my life, I felt let down by compassion. I did not expect something to hit me that hard. I felt compassion being sucked out of me. It made me think about people in ways that I never thought before. It made me analyze the way people have treated me in the past. I'm sure you would agree that we never like being taken for granted. I started identifying people who had clearly taken advantage of me. My attitude towards life was about to change.
Over the years, I had turned into a people-pleaser. I could make everyone happy at the same time. Some people really didn't deserve it, but I never saw it. I decided that from now on, I would always choose who I help and I would learn to say no to people who didn't deserve it. It is unbelievably hard to do so for someone who never questioned anyone when they asked for a favor. I never expected anything back in return either. I guess this is where I had to draw the line and stop being a nice guy all the time.
By saying that, I don't mean to say that I'm gonna turn into a bad person... I am not capable of hatred. I am just going to turn neutral and not react to a situation that I don't want to be involved in. Compassion will be followed for people who truly deserve it.
I'm not quite enjoying this at the moment, but I know it's working and it is the only thing that would keep me going. If I realise that this is a wrong move, I will without doubt go back to unconditional compassion immediately
I think you've made a good call. It's so easy to want to please others. Compassion is an excellent and admirable value to have, provided it is controlled. Nice one bud.
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