New Years' Eve 2010-2011 proved to be something that changed my attitude towards life. For the first time in my life, I had to do things I never thought I'd do before. I don't think I'll ever forget that day, but I would like to spare you the details. All I could say is that just as 2010 ended on an all new high, 2011 began with an all new low. I was faced with a major problem - My current personal and professional responsibilities do not permit me to go through a low phase... I couldn't afford to be in a negative state of mind.
I spent the next couple of days working things out in my head, and I realised that I was heading down a one way street with a dead-end. In hindsight, I figured that I always was, but I thought it could change with time. It was no one's fault, but it just didn't seem to work out. After seeing me go through the whole ordeal, a very dear friend finally asked me a simple question: "Is it really worth you spending that much energy on someone who didn't want it in the first place?" I knew it would be hard, but from that day, I had to let go of the part of me that was holding on. I'm still struggling, but I know I'll get there.
I have always worked effectively and efficiently under tremendous pressure. My brain tends to focus on the task at hand and not let go of the focus until the task is completed. It's like a state of meditation where all you can see is the tip of the flame and nothing else, even if the flame is moving and fluttering in the wind. It is all that I can see. It is something that people have regularly pointed out when they've seen me work, and I never realised how powerful this ability actually is. I decided to light my own flame and immerse myself in a space that I had never created before. This low phase was just about to turn into a massive springboard that would propel me to turn the entire month around.
I spent the next couple of days working things out in my head, and I realised that I was heading down a one way street with a dead-end. In hindsight, I figured that I always was, but I thought it could change with time. It was no one's fault, but it just didn't seem to work out. After seeing me go through the whole ordeal, a very dear friend finally asked me a simple question: "Is it really worth you spending that much energy on someone who didn't want it in the first place?" I knew it would be hard, but from that day, I had to let go of the part of me that was holding on. I'm still struggling, but I know I'll get there.
I have always worked effectively and efficiently under tremendous pressure. My brain tends to focus on the task at hand and not let go of the focus until the task is completed. It's like a state of meditation where all you can see is the tip of the flame and nothing else, even if the flame is moving and fluttering in the wind. It is all that I can see. It is something that people have regularly pointed out when they've seen me work, and I never realised how powerful this ability actually is. I decided to light my own flame and immerse myself in a space that I had never created before. This low phase was just about to turn into a massive springboard that would propel me to turn the entire month around.
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